SoI was Christian, and I loved God. I knew his son wasJesus Christ, and I had accepted him in my heartyears before, and my faith was as thick as anyone'sthat I knew. Yet, I still had doubts of whether Iwould make it to Heaven.Every time I wandered towards my secret stash ofwomen's clothing, Deuteronomy 22:5, a verse from thebible entered my head. The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all who do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.I was an abomination, if so, why should I live? Theonly reason I lived on was for God, so I wondered whyI should even go on, and many times I was drawn tothe gun in my bed-side cabinet, never pulling thetrigger. It seemed inevitable that one day the guiltof it all, or even my clumsiness would end in mydeath. I nearly hated myself for what I was doing,especially when I knew how wrong it was.Yet, even as these thoughts completed their usualcourse, rounding through my head, I found my. But suddenly one of the guys from the bar was looking in through the window at us. I tried to cover my breasts and was surprised when Ron grabbed my hands and held them together in one of his. I heard the backdoor driver side of my car open and felt the car move as several people climbed in. "Ellen said she has to go home guys. She enjoyed teasing us and having us buy her drinks. Now she wants to run out on us, don't you Ellen?Quite drunk and very nervous I replied, "I just need to go home." You're not going anywhere honey till you give us some of that pussy of yours," Ron said in a menacing voice.I jerked my hands free from his grip and slapped him across the face. His face immediately reddened with anger. One of the guys in the back said, "Ron's getting beaten up by a little bitch."Ron immediately said, "Nobody hits me, especially a little bar whore!"Ron slapped me hard across the face repeatedly. I could taste blood in my mouth and my vision became even more blurred. I tried to cry.
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